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He was giving me meaningful glances. You thought that was a bad date? He worked for some government agency and said he was very liberal. It was really bad.

Dating in is weird. but dating in in tragically divided washington? yeah, weirder.

We were, like, deep in the weeds of payment policy, right? I want to be clear about that. It was like, Okay, he looked these up.

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I think I was too embarrassed to reconnect with her at the end. He asked me what I did. We had an okay time.

He had white sheets and I have black hair, and I got up and I looked around the bed. One day, he texted me saying he wanted to have coffee urgently. One invited me to his run group, which was way more popular than I realized. All the decor clearly showed that his mom was very content with her job. There was a long pause.

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He was telling me how Medicare should work this way, and I was like, no, Medicare should work this way. He went to the bathroom. I would go to parties and the host would introduce me as the NPR person, and everyone would lose their minds and huddle around me. I love Chuck.

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You get a lot of people who want to go on dates with you if you have a holiday party or some sort of work-related event. It was a little surreal. It should have been a red flag. He was totally the town gadfly.

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He did this for maybe ten minutes while we were making out in his bed, and it was kind of starting to hurt. I have to go. I showed that hairball to so many people. This lawyer took me around the National Gallery and would tell me about, like, the painter and what the painting was about.

There was one day when I was there with all three of them, and none of them knew who the other was.

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Fast-forward a year or two after we were already broken up and out of touch—he texted me again to say he quit his job at the White House. I actually ran into him once later at a house party in Georgetown. She asked if I ever donated to support it.

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Thankfully, the bartender was super nice and gave me a free drink. I had one guy try to take me on a date to see Billy Graham lying in state. I think we started officially dating exclusively on the day Min moved in.

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He shows up and proceeds to pick a fight about politics. He told me how important his job was—something on the Hill, of course. I was like, Okay, if you live there, you guys must have some money or some ties. Three months later, he texted me to let me know he was cleared. Then obviously we go and hook up. My date [a Wall Street Journal reporter] had to carry me up the stairs two or three times before we found out there was an elevator.

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The attachment was a full spreheet with photos referencing stuff we talked about: hobbies I liked, these joking charts measuring our compatibility, and proposing activities for the next date. We had dated on and off for almost a year and had coffee every day at Compass Coffee by the White House, where he worked. She gave me a good 60 seconds of a chewing-out. It looked like he had shaved my head. That did not happen when I worked for the DC government.

So I just started grabbing it all up with my hands and made a hairball in my hands that was the size of a baseball, like a dense hairball. The second time I go, I see another ex.

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I once put one in a coma. It was, like, really shitty.

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The takeaway: You should know which congressman or senator the person works for before shit-talking them on a first date. It looked like the inside of a gift shop—almost every White House Christmas ornament is there. It kind of tastes like shit. After I said no, I felt a little silly.

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There was no second. Like, I go out on dates with strangers from the internet—why does it feel sketchy to go out with someone who actually introduced himself? But in the end, I think it was very sweet, but very DC. We would text all the time, like it was a thing. We are of opposite parties—he did health-care policy, I did health-care policy. No one else I know has ever been asked out on the Metro, period.

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It was a speed-dating event for professionals. The night we decided to meet, we were both a little buzzed when we got to the date. I wish I had a picture of that hairball. I look forward to hearing back from you. It was covered in my hair.

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He worked for somebody on the Hill and was going to get us in to skip the line. I was matched with someone who worked at PBS. I said I watched sometimes. And then a guy I used to be involved with sees me going and wants to know when he can come. She just left. I was just like, I want to get my hair and go. So after we had been on four dates and only known each other maybe two weeks, she moved into this really small studio apartment in Foggy Bottom with me.

We went to Zaytinya, then afterwards we drove around in his truck.

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I refused to meet with him. I made a joke about Chuck Grassley being bad at his job.

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Just tell me. He took me to the artillery room—rifles, grenades, automatic weapons just everywhere. And I shoved it in my purse.

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We were hooking up, and he kept running his hands through my hair. She ended up staying ten days. It felt like one of the more DC things to do: call a source and get information on this person you just met.