On a basic level, what the women in the video were trying to do at Antioch and what people are still trying to do at Antioch is set up the expectation that everyone in the community will talk about sex — before and during — so that everyone involved wants what is happening to be happening. These are the rules. I quit. And so we called a meeting. The campus foments this energy to make changes to better our society. Wait, what?
There were so many women in the room that night. All of these questions that we were talking about at Antioch in our so-called bubble have now become dinner table conversation. Amy Thomson, who was a first-year student when the news media descended, told me she remembered photographers pulling open dorm room doors and snapping pictures, trying to catch unsuspecting students in sexual acts. Sex is supposed to be mysterious and a little dangerous. We me? And how is a person supposed to get themselves heard?
This idea of women as asexual, things like the Antioch rules. Does it really change the way young people at the school have sex? It stuck with me for years, the idea that there is a community where consent is such a big part of the culture that every person who goes there to visit gets reminded of it before they walk into the dorms.
And this is the butt. Yes, you have my permission.
We were pretending we were empowered. Antioch has a history of being a fairly radical place. The difference is not necessarily that we are where we want to be. Political correctness and campus feminism run amok. Why did affirmative consent become a part of the culture at Antioch so long before it did anywhere else?
I was so embarrassed, and I felt humiliated. I was devastated. Does it mean that women are empowered enough now to say, not anymore? This seemed like a good moment to pick up the story dating in Antioch culture find out. I mean, may we? We may. When I came that fall, I look out, and there are two people dancing around in the rain naked. The person of the year is the MeToo movement. Some people might feel put off or over-policed by being handed such a form, but to me it felt so radical and — dare I say it — sexy that we were supposed to talk about sex at this school, that whoever wrote that form thought I was mature enough to do so.
You might want to bring your lawyer along. I ended up leaving school. I need to get a napkin. But what if you think my cooking sucks? Consent means verbally asking and verbally giving or denying consent for all levels of sexual behavior. We were the laughing stock. We wanted to have as much of a sexual cornucopia as we wanted, but we wanted to be asked if we wanted it. Non-consensual sexual behavior, verbal and sexual harassment are not tolerated at Antioch College.
All the current students I followed up with for the video told me that being sexual with an Antioch student is different from being sexual with someone else. But the story they told me — of trying to change the world as young people and being laughed at, of the humiliation and shame some of them still hold onto from that experience — was much more complicated.
Charlie Rose and Dr. Ruth talked about it. At Antioch, we were playing with empowerment. But from what I observed at Antioch, curbing that embarrassment has become a community effort. What exactly does it mean to consent enthusiastically?
This went viral before going viral was even a thing. Saltman said.
At the core of this whole conversation is a question of, what does it mean to be heard? I think it was the first time I had heard people talk about consent as something you could ask for verbally. We decided to draft a list of demands. It was really pretty wild, very small. This is the first time in a Disney movie that somebody asked for consent. Yes, I want to do that to you!
So we decided that we should talk to other women on campus. So when we discovered that there was a rape on campus, we played with saying exactly what we wanted, which was [bleep] that. You now have to regulate romance in the interest of protecting women. You have to ask permission before each and every action, from smooching to you-know-what. No more. A lot of erectile difficulties. The first-of-its-kind affirmative consent policy was written by students in as a response to campus rape.
Did these women see #metoo coming?
Frustration, anger, disappointment. Well, if Antioch College has its way, campus smooching will involve so many questions and answers.
May I kiss you on the mouth? The same conflicts that we had in our discussions in the early s at Antioch College are happening now. Antioch was a very sex-positive culture.
And then there was finding out that two women had been raped on the campus. We had hit a nerve. And it always has had a safe feeling about it. And I like that. And now, as the MeToo movement cracks open the mainstream conversation around consent — Can consent be nonverbal?
At the time, that was considered outrageous because it de-sexes the whole thing. I, for one, have never been part of a community with that expectation. Me, too.
The difference is that people are talking about it now. By Samantha Stark. Well, this is just the start. I loved sex then, and I love sex now. And with social media, that has just exploded. As it reaches the bedroom, as it reaches this male-female coming together, women are saying what?
Very carefully. I would like you to kiss me on the mouth. I think you have to be verbal. Going in to Antioch, I had only heard about S. Can anybody think of a time where there was a movie that actually showed affirmative consent? But what is it like to be an year-old and have the expectation set that you will talk during sex? Antioch has this openness. All sexual interactions at Antioch College must be consensual. How do you have sex at Antioch College? I was 21, a junior at another college.
Is it the job of men to now decide when women are capable of consent? Times Insider delivers behind-the-scenes insights into how news, features and opinion come together at The New York Times. I know I was.
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I have been sexually harassed. We did this 25 years ago. This is actually simple.